I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
