Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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