Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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