Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
