We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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