East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You are the jesus of drinking
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
