So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize