For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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