he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
