I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
