.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
