just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
