erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
