Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
