and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
