I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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