Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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