last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
