My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Randomize