Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
