We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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