We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
