In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
