took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
