You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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