my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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