Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
please come you make the beer taste better
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
