If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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