very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
