do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
