He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize