New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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