I hope mine doesn't look like that
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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