i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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