He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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