sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
