You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm both gender and math confused
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