dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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