Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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