CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
