what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
