If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
