yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We had sex on a dog bed..
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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