Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
