we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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