He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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