We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
