The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize