She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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