South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
