Cold hands, warm shart.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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