I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I have aggressive nipples.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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