It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
