Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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