is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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