You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
