i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
