Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize