Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
