Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
This house was built for laser tag.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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