hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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