I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
