So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
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