Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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